SUICIDE NOTE...... BY KURT COBAIN.

BoddAH

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complaind.

This note should be pretty easy to understand.
All the warnings from the Punk Rock 101 Courses over the years, it's my first introduction to the, shall we say ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has been proven to be very true.

I haven't felt the excitement of listening to, as well as creating music, along with really writing something for too many years now.

I feel guilty beyond words about these things, for example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins.

It doesn't affect me in the way which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love and relish the love and admiration from the crowd, which is
something I totally admire and envy.

The fact is, I can't fool you, any of you.
It simply isn't fair to you, r to me.

The worst crime can think of would be to pull people off by faking it, pretending as if I'm having one 100% fun.

Sometimes I feel as though I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on-stage.

I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and I do, God believe me, I do, but
it's not enough.

I appreciate the fact that I, and we, have affected, and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of the narcisists who only appreciate things when they're alone.

I'm too sensitive, I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm.

But, what's sad is our child. On our last three tours, I've had a much better appreciation of all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music.

But I still can't get out the frustration, the guilt, and the sympathy I have for everybody.

There is good in all of us, and I simply love people too much.
So much that it makes me feel too fucking sad.

The sad little sensitive unappreciative pisces Jesus man! why don't you
just enjoy it? I dont know! I have a of a wide who sweats ambition and empadny, and a daughter who reminds me to much of what I use to be.

full of love and joy, every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm.

And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function.
I cant stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable self destructive, deathrocker she become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general.

Only because it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy.
Empathy only because I love and feel for people too much I guess.

Thank you...
from the pit of my burning nauseas stomach for your letters and concern during the last years.

I'm too much of a neurotic moody person and I don't have the passion anymore, so remember, it's better to burn out, than fade away.

Peace, love, empathy, Kurt Cobain.

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar. Please keep going Courtney for Frances for her life which will be so much happier without me.

I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU!

EXCELENTE DIA.....TERRIBLE NOCHE.......

Todo empezo perfecto...........me desperte muy temprano, me di un shower, me fui al "IMPERIAL VALLEY HEALTH SERVICES OFFICE", tenia que tramitar mi "Food Handler Card", para ya terminar con el papeleo en el trabajo, total que se supone que tienes que tomar una clase de minimo 3hrs, y no fue asi, nada mas llene una forma, pague 10dlls (que despues me regresara VONS), firme y ahi la tenia ya en mis manos, pase a "KIA" en el centro, porque me quiero encharcar con un auto, (que de verdad necesito) apenas ando checando a ver en donde me convencen......... total regrese a casita, desayune, todo perfecto, me arregle y me fui a trabajar.............

Transcurrio excelente bien la jornada, no hubo clientes sangrones, la chica que le toco estar a un lado de mi, muy platicadora asi que no me aburri, las ventas salieron muy bien, deberia cobrar comision, jajaja, total al terminar la ardua jornada se armo la pachanga, desgraciadamente era hasta "Brawley", que realidad no es tan lejos, pero algo me decia que si me iba de party no podria evitar tomarme unas chelas, y no me quise arriesgar, arranque a mi casita y cuando llegue: me di cuenta que traia TREMENDO GOLPE, en la puerta del copiloto, LLORE, LLORE, LLORE, LLORE, MALDECI, VOLVI A LLORAR, LLORE OTRA VEZ, DIJE COSAS FEAS, MUUUUUUUUUY FEAS, Y LLORE POR ULTIMA VEZ.................................

Ya cuando mi santa madre se dio cuenta de que algo pasaba en el garage, salio, le explique y me dice: PUES SI QUE TE DIERON FEO EH!!!!!, Por faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavor!, estas viendo en que estado esta tu hija (la calmadita me dicen), y tu poniendo el dedo en la yaga.................................. volvi a LLORAR, Y SEGUI LLORANDO, soy muy mala para controlar el enojo, de hecho no me vendrian mal unas clasesitas de ANGER MANAGEMENT, en fin.................ahorita ya pasaron varias horas y todavia me duele el pecho, no se que tenga que ver pero me duele............

Lo feo, triste, y lo que mas me lleno de rabia, es que pensaba vender mi auto, con eso ya tendria una buena cantidad de lana para darlo de enganche y asi no me queden los pagos tan altos, total hoy todo se fue al caño, tendre que arreglar esa puerta o no lo podre vender ni a 3 pesos............................... YA VOLVI A LLORAR!!!!!!!......................

Bueno pero a quien no le daria coraje esta situacion?.................

PS.....
La pic de el post anterior no soy yo, es un tatuaje que me encontre en una pagina y me gusto...................... yo todavia no me decido por alguna de las tantas ideas que tengo para mi siguiente tatuaje.........aclarado el punto..................adiooooooooooooooooooooos...

Cuidense, y cuidado con los conductores irresponsables....................